Lace.

I've been this way for some time now.
Delicate.
Like lace on a fringe or a porcelain doll.
Except with a heart and a soul and a laugh.
And eyes that watch you disprove of what you see.
Delicate; because I love you.

lennie.

Winter Rain

I'm listening to the winter rain
And wishing it was summer.
I wish the atmosphere was tinted clear
Replacing all this grey.
Would that the rain-warm steam
and gasoline would drug the open air
And that kids would jump into chlorine water
Making waves in their lemonade
And watching the stars.


lennie.

Enough.

C
i should've learned my lesson
A
the first time
F G
that you never called back.
C
i should've seen it coming
A
we were talking
F G
and my heart beat so fast

i should've left you guessing
let you miss me
but i miss you first
i always try to fight this
but it's lonely
and it only gets worse

Dm
i should've run away
Bbm
i should've turned around
Dm
i should've known that you
G
were meant to let me down.

i should've walked away
i should've turned around
i should've known that you
would always let me down
F
i fell in love too early
G A
and i can't take it back
F
i'll always want you with me
G C
you'll never be my past.
F
each time you say i'm perfect
G A
you break my heart in two
F
don't tell me that i'm perfect
G C
it's not enough for you

Song?

lovely is a perfect word
for the state that I'm not in.
In all the things you've never heard
my passion's wearing thin.

I wish with every fiber left
That something comes alive.
I feel like grass without the green,
And bees without their hive.

So break my heart and leave me be.
Just rip at every part of me.
And maybe then I'll start to feel,
Maybe then I'll know I'm real.
I'll scream and cry and close my eyes.
And sever all these ghostly ties.
Just as I start to see the black,
I know you'll come and bring me back.

lennie.

Room

My room's a mess
and so am I.
A wrinkled dress
on the floor in the corner.
With a wrinkled brow staring it down.
You never clean up!
And I hope my brain hears her.
Maybe when it listens
I will too.
My heart's a mess.
And so's my room.

lennie.

Smile

i want to shake myself
awake and alive and not very broken
hearted on the snow and in the soft cold wind
chime with my faith and laugh until i can't anymore.

i want to smile when no ones looking.

11:11

if 5 shooting stars
were to fly
right now
i'd wish i was as pretty as you made me feel
i'd wish you were real
i'd wish i was holding you hand
i'd wish you would understand, and want mine too
i'd wish for you.

lennie.

Ghost.

i'd rather be a catastrophe
than be nothing at all.
floating around
nondescript and lifeless.
i want to make some one angry
or make them love me
or worse, make them leave me.
because at least then I would know I was alive
and that I was real
it's hard being a ghost sometimes.


lennie.