Thief

I lay in the dark
and I wish you were here
to hold me up
or down.
to hold my heart
or my hand.
my lungs are writhing against my ribcage
and in my dreams, i'm fighting for breath.
because you took all mine away.

lennie.

Untitled II

drip drip drip

like the tears from a sparrow

whose wings were clipped

by a being that envied

her friendship with the sky and the air.

tap tap tap

nervous fingers drumming

against a hard surface

begging it to lend them it's security

and it's ability to stand

thump thump thump

a heart rushing to win the race

that we die to complete

but dreading the denouement

when the cold sets in.

who are we to clip her wings

when we so value her song?

who are we to ask for security,

when we jeopardized it's own?

and what control do we have

over the inevitable.

lennie.

Save Me. I'm Here.

suddenly, i'm drowning.
in sins, in hopes, in faith, in the dark,
in this loss of esteem for my souls well being.
i'm losing my way.
and no one will acquiesce my plea for help.
probably because it's only in my mind as selfish pride chokes the words before they leave my tongue and taste the oxygen on its way into my throat
and i am helpless again.
and there are those who would frown upon my means of self sufficiency.
but i didn't ask them for their opinion,
so they lock it inside.
instead of trying to protect me from myself.


lennie.

Winning

No one can hurt me like I can.
So i'll stay in my skin
And i'll let myself decay
with a smile on my face.

I'll let no one in.
Because they can hurt me
like I can.


lennie.

Raw

I wish I was raw.

Unhindered, uncut.

A naked plunge into ice cold water

Or a tryst with a stranger in the dark of the night.

I will myself forward

Running through the rain with my eyes wide shut

the water icicles on my skin

helping me remember that for now, i'm alive.

No fear of shadows

walk through the dark and envision the flame

that no one can tame

and that no one will douse.

I wish I was raw.

lennie.

Stockholm

I'm so yours for the taking.
did you know that?
you could throw me away
and peel my esteem from my skin

and with a word
a phrase
a phone call
I'd be back
because I'm safe there.

you're a disorder.
a syndrome that I'm too tired to fight
and you don't even want me back.
and I sit, vindicated.
while you stand, ignorant.

ignorant and living in the bliss
that I only want with you.

lennie.

Hoodie

i like the way your hoodie smells.
it's essence of you in the rawest sense
so tonight i'll face a nightmares' swells,
with the dark green fabric as my only defense.

i'm not sure what you mean to me
we're friends at least, or something more
but wood becomes ashes and light becomes heat
and tomorrows another open door

the twilights late this time of year
and maybe God gets a joke at our expense
this feels like magic and smells like cheer
as i've got hands and face right up to the fence

i like the way your hoodie smells.
it's essence of you in the rawest sense
so tonight i'll hope i dream of you
with the dark green fabric as my only defense.

lennie.